Life.

Yesterday went swimming with Joel, Shiya, Weishan and Wenwei.
Today went pulau ubin with the same group plus Junwei.
-End-

I Hate Myself

I'm too selfish.
I'm too dependent on others
I'm too heartless.
I'm too inconsiderate.
I'm too forgetful.
I'm too blur.
I'm too stupid.
I'm too dull.
I'm too naive.
I'm too impatient.
I'm too hot-tempered.
I'm too crybaby.
I'm too vain.
I'm too fake.
I'm too untidy.
I'm too impolite.
I'm too rude.
I'm too poor.
I'm not a good friend.
I'm not a good daughter.
I'm not a good girlfriend.
I'm not a good advisor.
I'm always late.
I'm always thinking of myself first.
I'm always wrong.
I'm always slow.
I hate my being in this world.
I hate myself.

Gym.

Today went gym with Wenwei. Might be going again on Tuesday or maybe going swimming. Fullstop.

Outbreaks of ants

I'm a candy.

Ants keep coming to me,
As I got sweeter & sweeter

&

sweeter.

Shoo, ants, shoo.

Peace.
:)

Sians!

Sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei sibei......
SIAN AH!

Rotting at home...

Yesterday, the usual 5 went to Shiya's house to eat mee sua then played badminton under her block.

After that met wenwei for movie. We watched 4bia 2. So after watching I turned out looking like this...:

Phobia...

Currently...
I kind of miss my really long and layered hair.

Sorry if I freaked you out. I really need to hide that hideous face.
These pictures were taken 4 months ago.

...until I cut bangs and cut away the layers in July.

Another thing...
Totally love this picture! Hahaha..

Wonder how will their baby look like.

BORED...

Haven't do my daily diet plan for today. Oh and one thing.. I've grown 1 cm taller. Just measured by my father. Maybe one day I will overtake my brother. I'm taller than him when I wear heels. And it's like so weird. I'm different from my brother and sister because I'm considered tall in my family. I think only me got the gene from my father because he's tall. And they got mum's who is really short. My mum's height is 151 whereas dad's 175. My dad claimed he shrank. Haha..

Very overdue and random pictures

All these pictures was like few weeks ago I think. Noticed these while looking through my pictures so...just post!
Didn't really took much pictures...

IKEA...

M18!

At Expo, Weishan & Shiya at work....

Ya I know I know...underwears...

What makes you happy?

(from the left) Liyun, ME, Weishan, Shiya

1. When eating Andersen's icecream makes me happy. I love icecream aLOT. Whenever I passed by Andersen's shop, I would tell my friends "hey lets get some icecream."
Never try those cheapo ones, especially the chocolate flavour, almost makes me never want an icecream again. Tasted really like playdough. Haha..like I ever tasted playdough. No..It's the smell in your mouth.

2. When I see people laughing and enjoying themselves makes me smile. Doesn't even realise that most of the time. I'm happy when people are happy.

3. When I see a cat purrs makes me happy. Means that it's feeling happy or comfortable. I'm happy when animals are happy. I love all animals.

4. When I'm praised.

5. When I see the sunlight shining through the window. What a relaxing sensation.

6. When I see myself in the mirror looking nice and pretty. To me, first impression to people is very important and you willl never know when you will meet someone new. So try to look good always. And, never talks about my complexion because I'm rather sensitive about that. I look down at the floor or try to hide my face if I think I look terrible. Share with you a secret, actually I'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror.

7. When I see myself getting slimmer. Well, who doesn't feels happy about that.

8. When I see loving old couple holding hands.

9. When I finish a good book.

10. When I'm with my Bffs. Love you people. :)

Too much things that makes me happy. So just 10 for now.

So, what makes YOU happy?

Finally it's over.

I feel so relax now that it's finally over and I'm glad that I'm still alive. Woohoo! I feel like going wild!
Hmm.. you can say I'm mad. I don't fucking care man! I'm going to spend big money! I'm going to buy everything I want from now on. Wonder how I get the money? Well, I have my own way! I want to shout at the top of my voice and let the wind blow them away. I want to enjoy the breeze. I want to tour around the world. I want to go London and I will get there. I have the will so there's a way.
I'm just fucking happy now.

Oh ya. And you fucking taxi driver, my house is at Ave 11 not St 11, you fucking moron. Get another life man, pea brain. Ha!

Get me another drink...

Peace.

Noone will understand.

It's just that so many bad things keep on happening. Too much and too sudden for me. I really don't know what to do and how to cope. Force myself to do what I don't want to do? I've been running away from it and seriously not solving anything. Just makes me feel even more depressed. I need to try to overcome my fear first. Hopefully I will find a solution to all these.

Thanks people for your concern even though I didn't revealed anything. I'm still not ready for that too.

All this would soon be over. Don't worry, guys.



Cried bitterly and it makes me felt better... just a bit...

Now, I'm going out to have some fresh air...

Why can't I overcome myself?

I really hate myself. Just take my life please. I will be happier. I don't want to carry on like this. Just let me go.




Never happy and cried somewhere...

Fever

Ah! I'm still having a fever since last night. How am I going to go out later?! I can't enjoy myself. Hopefully I get better later. And I'm very glad to announce that I lost 3 kg! Yay! Just 2 more kg to go. :)

I'm sure going to get depression soon...

What am I thinking...
Maybe one day, I can't even recognize myself...
Keep thinking what you said...
I feel exhausted. I really do. I see how meaningless life can be. I had already tried so hard and it's still the same. Feels disappointed. I thought I was fine but it all come back to me again. Been finding things to make me occupied, to be distracted from all these stupid thoughts. I really want to forget everything...

I feels cold..and colder and colder...and....colder...

Does my blog looks wordy and boring without pictures?

Buy me a DSLR camera lah. Wahahaha..

Show you a picture of me....



I looked chubby in here right? Another confession to make. I had actually gained weight... OMG OMG.

Do comment~

Happy Birthday

It's my brother's 21th birthday today.
Had dinner at the Jack's Place with my family. Really really rare to see us gather around and had dinner together. Usually without my brother.

Just turned 21 today. Hope you really mend your ways. Do something big will you. And act like a 21...

Chalet on thursday to friday

Home sweet home.
It's still better to be home.
Just came back from chalet and badminton session. Well...had fun. Actually everything was quite last min. On Wednesday, Joel just asked us whether we want to go to his chalet the next day.

I was doing my last min packing. Really thanks my mum. I said I needed something. When I came back after doing my stuff, the things I needed were already next to my bag and she makes sure I didn't miss out anything. Shiya came to my house first to help me carry my 3 badminton rackets which we thought we will be using.

We were supposed to meet at 1200 at Yishun interchange. And yaya I was late again. Went to buy hand towel grips for my badminton rackets first.

Took bus to our destination. Went to check in the chalet first and put our bags before we went to buy ingredients for barbecuing. Brought alot of things. Costed about $70 plus. Also, brought our lunch. Went back to the chalet. And what the hell with the ancient looking air-con. It's like not working at all. Not even cool. We were feeling so warm despite the air-con was on. Don't wished to suffer anymore, we called the engineer to come over to check it. He said he will come back 30 min later to check again. "If the air-con is still not cold, you will have to change to another room." Of course it's still not cold so we changed room. The other room air-con was different. More modern looking and was much cooler. But still not cold enough for me. Don't even have to use the blanklet.

We really don't know how to start the fire. And the charcoal was arranged any old how. Just thrown the charcoal in and anyhow placed the fire starters. We even use badminton racket (we didn't played badminton that day at all) and Weishan's mini electric fan to fan the flames. The mini electric fan came in very handy, really brillant! It's like magic! The fire got really furious. But the charcoal is still not scorching hot. Not after Wenwei came. He was like "where got throw everything in like that one." Very professionally, he picked up the pair of tongs, rearranged the charcoals and the fire starters. In no time, it was ready to barbecue the foods. Hmm..I'm impressed! Not only that, he's also very good and experience at barbecuing. We found him a new job... a satay man. He helped us cooked all the foods. And we went like "uncle I want a hotdog, chicken wings and satays please." And at night he was a bartender. Mixing drinks for us. Felt like getting drunk for once. However, it's a pity he couldn't stayed overnight with us. He had to go home to pray granny dunno what, don't understand. So he left before midnight.

Past midnight..
Shiya said not to sleep that night and in the end she was the first one who fell fast asleep. Joel and I don't feel tired at all. So, we dragged them out for a walk. When we reached the park, they started complaining and wanted to go back and enjoy the air-con indoor. I wanted to go explore. With disappointment, Joel and I had no choice but to follow them back.

It's like so bored out of my mind! The TV was on, so watched whatever. Played poker cards. Played "cheat". Always got caught by Weishan. One round seems forever to finish. We had fun. Later night Joel became the ice cream man. He served us ice creams in cones. Even later that night, at about 0330, we had decided to go to sleep. Still not feeling tired. My eyes were still wide opened but I think I ought to get some sleep. I forced myself to dream. However, I kept fidgeting, not knowing I was making alot of noise and disturbing the others as I was listening to the radio with the earpiece until they told me in the morning. Hard bed, no pillow (all taken by them)and air-con not cold enough (I normally like to feel cold and hide in my covers), with such conditions how can I possibly fall asleep. Somehow, I still manage to get some sleep, however found myself awake a few times.

Finally it was the morning! Been hoping to see the daylight arrived very soon since I can't sleep. We took turns to take our bath. Ate ice cream early in the morning and were packing. Were ready to leave before 10 to check out. *Sigh* Time flies..

Went to have our lunch and headed home. On the bus home, we had decided to play badminton after we had went home to put our things first. Vivian couldn't join us. She got other things on.

It was quite a bit too windy to play so we decided to rent DVD to watch at Shiya's house. We watched "yes man". I think everyone felt really drowsy inside her room with the air-con on as not one of us had enough sleep except Shiya who sleep like a log that previous night.

Weishan went home shortly after finishing the show. Played awhile of badminton with Joel and Shiya. Joel left not long later, leaving Shiya and I playing with each other. Almost dinnertime, we went home...

Malaysia with my bffs

Thanks dad! He was once again, my saviour...

Today went to Johor with Shiya, Joel, his mum, Weishan, Vivian and Wenwei. I was supposed to reach by 0900 at the bus stop near Yishun interchange and I was 15 min... late again. But I wasn't the latest. Joel and his mum were. (Joel's mum treated us lunch as she felt apologetic to kept us waiting) And before they reached, there were actually still time for me to go home and take my passport, however, I had not realise that I had not brought it out then. Vivian even asked me if I brought my passport and I replied "of course I brought." See how blur I were. Still had illusion that I put my passport in my bag already. Little did I know then that I left it on my coffee table. I only realized when we had already boarded the bus to woodlands interchange, and Shiya wanted to show us her passport and I wanted to show mine too.

Thats when I was thunderstuck! Kept rummaging around my bag for it and hoped it will appeared somehow. Then remembered I left it at home. Quickly called my father for help. He asked me to try asking my mum first because he was quite a far distance away. So I did. My mum just said she's not free, she's doing facial, bye. I called my father again. He asked me to wait then the line cut off. I waited awhile and called again. No answer. Waited awhile and called again, fearing he feels irritated. Still no answer. Waited till I reached woodlands interchange. Called again. Finally he answered. And to my greatest relief, he said he is on his way now. Ah! I'm saved. Great gratitude towards my noble dad. But he will took quite a long time as he was on his way from tampines to yishun and to woodlands. Feeling embarassed as they had to wait together with me for my dad's arrival, I decided to treat them breakfast.

Had breakfast at macdonald also at the same time waiting for my dad. We were discussing about the differences between father and mother when you ask them for help. Mother is more reluctant to help and will took forever to reach whereas father is always willing and ready to help their dear daughters regardless of how busy he was and came very quick to the rescue.

Dad arrived shortly about 35 min later which was considered really fast. Went to meet him and glad to have my passport with me. After biding goodbye to my dad, we went to take the bus to the checkpoint. I was asked to change my passport photo because I looked very much different. I remembered it was taken when I was in primary 4.

Finally arrived Johor. Actually there wasn't much to shop but I still brought something. Spent only about S$75. Brought 2 shirt from Mango and a pair of wedges shoes which makes me look 170 tall. Shiya and I brought the same shoes but different colour.^^ And I have a confession to make.... I have big feet. *Sigh* Was asking the lady for a bigger size and a bigger size.

Went to buy ice-cream at macdonald and Shiya gave ringgit $1 coin to the man. The man looked at her and said something in malay, thought we would understand malay. The 4 of us girls just stared at each other not knowing a word he said. Then Shiya told him "pay separately". The man then said "oh the $1 coin expired already." Haha so paiseh. Wenwei said it's already been expired a year ago. Wenwei is a malaysian.

Ate lunch at macdonald AGAIN. Hmm the drinks tasted different from singapore. We shop somemore after that. Joel and his mum left before dinnertime as his mum have to go home and cook dinner for his dad. Never mind, I don't understand neither. Went to eat dinner. Forgot what's the place called.

On our way home, while waiting for the bus to come. Vivian, Wenwei and I were in a conversation. I was saying if the corridors of the building in front of us suddenly appear one long black hair girl wearing a red dress gliding across, how will he react. The corridors were pitch dark and no movement. Then Wenwei told us about his encounter with a spirit which make him dread to see another one again. We were still in a conversation when Vivian suddenly said "did you see there's a shirt on the third floor corridor?" It wasn't there earlier. I didn't look because I was talking to Shiya and Weishan. Wenwei was like hey ya lor! And when he looked up again, he jumped because he got scared by the sudden movement of the shirt! hahaha..it was only a person who have a skin too dark that make it looks like a shirt hanging in mid air. Hahaha.. I was laughing aloud.

Passed the checkpoint again. I was asked to get a new passport photo again. He even asked me if I wears contact lens. What a question. He also asked me other questions but I forgot...


Should have taken some pictures though and let the pictures do the talking.